Redneck Jedi

Your Jedi robe is a Camouflage color.
You have ever used your Light Saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill
You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.
At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored!!!
There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder
You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder
You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok
You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks
You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets
A peaceful meditation session is one without gas
You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE FORCE
Your master ever said "My finger you will pull..hmmm?"
You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had tospit.
The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
Wookies are offended by your B.O.
You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
You have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.
Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.

Joke of The Day

This old man and his wife were sitting on the porch rocking in their chairs. They'd been married for like 60 years. They just sat there rocking back and forth when all of a sudden Grandma reaches back and just slaps the hell out of Grandpa. He rubbed his face. Ma what ya do that for he asked. She looked at him and said for being a sorry fuck for 60 years They went back to rocking and in a couple of minutes Grandpa lays back and knocks the hell out of Grandma. He knocks her out of her chair, off the porch and into the yard. She rubs her face and asks Pa what you go and do that for He looked at her sternly for knowing the difference he answered....

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Getting an erection