Lodging

Due to the current financial status of the company, all employees are encouraged to adopt the following cost cutting measures.

LODGING

All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on business travel. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.

TRANSPORTATION

Hitchhiking is the preferred mode of travel in lieu of commercial transport. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their departure on business trips. Bus transportation will be used only when work schedules require such travel. Airline tickets will be authorized in extreme circumstances and the lowest fares will be used. For example, if a meeting is scheduled in Seattle, but the lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, then travel to Detroit will be substituted for travel to Seattle.

MEALS

Expenditures for meals will be limited to an absolute minimum. It should be noted that certain grocery and specialty chains, such as Hickory Farms, General Nutrition centers, and, Costco, Sams stores etc. often provide free samples of promotional items. Entire meals can be obtained in this manner. Travelers should also be familiar with indigenous roots, berries, and other protein sources available at their destinations. If restaurants must be utilized, travelers should use "all you can eat" salad bars. This is especially effective for employees traveling together as one plate can be used to feed the entire group. Employees are also encouraged to bring their own food on business travel. Cans of tuna fish, Spam, and Beefaroni can be consumed at your leisure without the necessary bother of heating or costly preparation.

MISCELLANEOUS

All employees are encouraged to devise innovative techniques in effort to save company dollars. One enterprising individual has already suggested that money could be raised during airport layover periods which could be used to defray travel expenses. In support of this idea, red caps will be issued to all employees prior to their departure so that they may earn tips by helping others with their luggage. Small plastic roses and ball point pens will also be available to employees so that sales may be made as time permits.

Joke of The Day

This old man and his wife were sitting on the porch rocking in their chairs. They'd been married for like 60 years. They just sat there rocking back and forth when all of a sudden Grandma reaches back and just slaps the hell out of Grandpa. He rubbed his face. Ma what ya do that for he asked. She looked at him and said for being a sorry fuck for 60 years They went back to rocking and in a couple of minutes Grandpa lays back and knocks the hell out of Grandma. He knocks her out of her chair, off the porch and into the yard. She rubs her face and asks Pa what you go and do that for He looked at her sternly for knowing the difference he answered....

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