Things you don't want to hear from tech...

* "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"

* "That's right, not even McGyver could fix it."

* "So -- what are you wearing?"

* "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"

* "Looks like you're gonna need some new dilithium crystals, Cap'n."

* "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."

* "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery."

* "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."

* "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"

* "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."

* "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."

Joke of The Day

This old man and his wife were sitting on the porch rocking in their chairs. They'd been married for like 60 years. They just sat there rocking back and forth when all of a sudden Grandma reaches back and just slaps the hell out of Grandpa. He rubbed his face. Ma what ya do that for he asked. She looked at him and said for being a sorry fuck for 60 years They went back to rocking and in a couple of minutes Grandpa lays back and knocks the hell out of Grandma. He knocks her out of her chair, off the porch and into the yard. She rubs her face and asks Pa what you go and do that for He looked at her sternly for knowing the difference he answered....

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And if you think that's funny take a look at this;

History Of Swinging