Santa's Pick Up Lines

* I know when you`ve been bad or good, so let's skip the small talk, sister!

* Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?

* Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?

* Some of my best toys run on batteries...

* I see you when you're sleeping - and you don't wear any underwear, do you?

* Screw the "nice" list -- I've got you on my "nice AND naughty" list!

* Wanna join the "Mile High" club?

* That's not a candy cane in my pocket, honey. I'm just glad to see you!

Joke of The Day

This old man and his wife were sitting on the porch rocking in their chairs. They'd been married for like 60 years. They just sat there rocking back and forth when all of a sudden Grandma reaches back and just slaps the hell out of Grandpa. He rubbed his face. Ma what ya do that for he asked. She looked at him and said for being a sorry fuck for 60 years They went back to rocking and in a couple of minutes Grandpa lays back and knocks the hell out of Grandma. He knocks her out of her chair, off the porch and into the yard. She rubs her face and asks Pa what you go and do that for He looked at her sternly for knowing the difference he answered....

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